Blackhat
or how everything you need to see is in the trailer.
Blackhat starring Chris
Hemsworth and relative unknown actor Leehom Wang , is the single most incredibly, spectacularly,
dull film to come out this year. Let me
clarify, the story of Blackhat follows Chinese operative Chen Dawai, played by
Wang, as he is enlisted by the Chinese government to work with the FBI in locating
a cyber terrorist that sabotaged one of their nuclear plants. after one look at the hackers work he realizes that this cyber terrorist is crazy good and
is involved in some pretty serious bad-guy stuff so he enlists the help of his
sister Chen Lien(Wei Tang) a computer analyst and his old college buddy Nick
Hathaway(Hemsworth) who is currently doing serious time for his own cyber
crimes. Once he convinces the FBI to release
Hathaway they crew seeks to hunt down the terrorist and unveil his plans and
doing so is going to involve typing, Lots and lots of typing.
The problem with the film is that it
completely gives you the cyber part of its genera but never delivers the
thriller aspect. I basically spent a 133 minutes watching
people work at a desk job which is
boring enough to actually do for a career let alone pay to watch someone else
do it. The technobabble was also a very
serious problem in the film as many of the terminology came without definition
or the definition was so unemphasized that you forgot what they meant three
minutes later, point in fact I’m still not clear on what exactly a “blackhat”
is.
I wish I could take this moment and
at least talk up the interesting and innovative plot but sadly what film lacks
in gunfights and car chases it also lacks in compelling narrative. The entire
plot is completely uninspired and the threat wholly mundane leading to simply a
long series of tropes, pointless characters, and “I’m too dumb to live” moments.
The biggest crime the film commits however is that female lead Chen Lien
despite being built up as this brilliant computer analyst was so unimportant to
the story that the only thing she actually did was to provide a body for Hemsworth
to sleep with and (when his costar Leehom Wang was off screen) talk through all
the cyber- babble needed for him to figure out what the bad guy is up to. But
this is 2015 movie so there was no way a contemporary movie such as this would
miss out on an opportunity to shoehorn in a romantic relationship for Thor god
of thunder.
Overall the movie was
vapidly uninspired and did nothing to garner interest or even the slightest bit
of curiosity from its audience. Blackhat's lack of character, story, suspense and general creativity making an evening at home watching the paint
on your walls crack a more stimulating experience, at least you can watch that for free.
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| Say hello to Thor's little friend. but not to loud he's shy and only comes out once in the movie. |
*Spoilerific* observations
. Wow, these are some of the worst FBI agents I've ever
seen, they assigning academy graduates or something to this case?
. Ok, what the heck were those terrorists waiting for? Why did they wait for Hataway to get out of
the car before blowing it? And even then
why on earth wait so long to blow it at all?
It was like 40 miles later plus one heart to heart and then they decided
to blow them all to kingdom come? Good
thing the FBI is so bad at their job otherwise these guys would be toast.
. Wait that’s it? That’s your master plan? You’re going to flood some tiny third world
village to drive up the prices of tin?
Muhahahha No one shall be my equal in tin sales! Ok, yeah, killing people is always bad but
come on even in the shots they showed there really wasn’t much of a village to
flood it was pretty much all desert so essentially he was planning to flood the
desert so he could become a tin tycoon.
Way raise the stakes buddy.
