How not to be a jerk when going to a Haunted House.

The Halloween season is upon us and many of you are going to be partaking in all the wonderful fall festivities that come only once a year,  Pumpkin everything,  Trick or Treating,  Candy, lots and lots of candy, and of course Haunted Houses. But in my experience as a haunted house actor, I have found that many guests fail to understand that entering into a haunted house is not a license to do whatever you want.  Just like anywhere else you go, there is proper edict and social expectations when entering a haunted house so that both you and the actors can all have a good and safe time.   Below are some of the most common issues haunt workers face every season and how you can avoid ruining the night for others.

1 .)    Don’t hurt the Actors

Imagine your working at MacDonald’s and as soon as you ask “would you like fries with that?”  Someone reached over the counter and punched you in the face, you probably wouldn’t be too happy about that. No one wants to get beat up for just doing their job and the actors in a haunted attraction are no different. If you cannot control your flight or fight instinct STAY HOME! For everyone’s sake, but if you must go and you’re uncertain about how much you can control yourself try keeping your hands in your pockets to delay any possible violent reaction you may have to a zombie popping up behind a tombstone.

 2 .)    Keep Moving

Unless you’re specifically told not to, or it’s painfully obvious that you shouldn’t, keep moving.   You’re not the only one who wants to enjoy the attraction so be respectful to those behind you. It's fine to move at an even pace, we want you to enjoy the house not have to rush through it, but don’t stop to analyze the wood grain or tell your life story to the actors. The general rule is that your feet should never stop moving unless an actor prevents you from continuing.

3 .)     When it’s ok to Disregard rule 2

If the actor gives you a very specific instruction that does not compromise your safety or comfort then there’s a high probability that it’s ok to do what they asked you to do. If a ghost in a haunted hotel asks you to come to the front desk they probably want you to actually come to the front desk and it is alright to discard rule# 2.  Now if the evil hobo tells you to stop and take off your clothes then that is a direct violation of your personal space and comfort zone so it’s safe to ignore them. It’s usually not hard to figure out what you’re supposed to do, use the brain God gave you. This rule also applies to actors who block your path, please do not try to go around the actor, they are standing there for a reason when it’s time for you to continue they will step out of the way or give you some sort of verbal cue that you can pass.

3A.) When walking through a "scare zone" or waiting in line to enter a house, provided the line is not moving, you are free to take more time and enjoy the show. " Scare Zones" are typically open areas that do not contain any clear boundaries as guests are free to come and go as they please from these areas without waiting in any kind of line. Actors in these areas often will be more willing to play by dialoguing with guests or performing longer more involved skits. please keep in mind this is not an invitation to loiter in the attraction, enjoy the show then move on. Word of caution about "Scare Zones", if the monster happens to chase you out of the zone and  into the backwoods where there are no witnesses then I would pick up the pace, because that's not an actor.

4.)    Put your cell phones away.

Put all your electronic devices away. Just like when you go to the theater it is considered rude to talk on your phone while enjoying the entertainment and illegal to film without express permission.  I mean come on people these guys feed their kids based on how many guests they can get to go through their attraction in less than two months, when you put the whole thing online before the end of the season your hurting their sales at least wait a year before putting up your video and don’t be a baby if someone makes you take it down. not to mention there's nothing more annoying than that one person who just won't wait to take that unnecessary phone call while you're trying to enjoy the attraction. 

5.)    Have fun talking to the actors.

You may speak to the actors but do not expect them to always speak back.  Every actor is different some are willing to partake in witty banter while others will simply snarl or stare depending on their character.  If an actor does talk to you feel free to try and ask them creative questions about their character or attraction but do not try to talk over them or waste time by acting like a four-year-old demanding they answer you in the way that you want.

6.)    You are not as clever or as brave as you think you are.

  Any stupid joke, phrase, question or action you think makes you a completely special and original snowflake has already been done by 10 people before you. So when you feel the urge to start dancing in the middle of the cornfield or point out a monster that is obviously hiding in plain sight please do all of us a favor and curb those instincts. It’s rude and disrespectful if you want to be a jerk stay home, besides it just makes you look like an idiot and I guarantee your actions will be more embarrassing for you than for the actor.

7.)    Do not harass anyone.

Unless you sign a waiver giving actors permission to abuse you , Making lewd and sexual comments towards any actor or guest inside a Haunted House is considered a form of sexual harassment and if the actor or guest so chooses they can bring charges against you. Purposeful violence against actors or guests is also considered harassment so just remember if you shouldn’t do it at Wal-Mart you shouldn’t do it here either.

8.)    Throw away your garbage

Please put your trash in specified containers. The Haunt workers arrive much earlier and stay far later then you will, and when we have to pick up your trash that simply makes our night that much longer.  Be a pal and don’t leave your half eaten pretzels just lying on the ground that’s just gross.

Just in case any of you are visual learners this is a trash can

 this is not a trash can,

these are not trash cans

and this is certainly not a trash can.

9.)    If you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all.

 Do not tell the actors that they or their attraction is “lame” or “not scary”, even if it’s true the actors can only do so much to change the experience of the house, besides it’s a rude thing to say and makes the actors want to punt your head all the way down the midway. 

10.)  The Actor is acting, let them do their job.

   Do not try and get the actor to break character, you paid for the illusion let them do their thing.  But just in case this doesn’t sink in I’m going to give you the top 5 questions most people will ask.

1.       Is this scary? / Are you/is that real? :   let’s be honest, most people only ask these questions to make themselves look cool, the actual truth is when you ask these questions you look like a doofus.  You know it’s’ supposed to be scary,  that’s what you paid for, and you also know that none of the props are “ real” in the sense that no one is  going to take and actual chainsaw and cut off your arm with it.   So asking this is like asking are there animals at a zoo?  You’re better off just keeping your mouth shut.

2.       Where is area X located? : It’s called find a map, and figure it out for yourself.  However, if you really need help most actors will do their best to point you in the right direction but there are plenty of none-actor employees that you can go to for help instead of bothering the actor. The information desk can probably give you better directions then the killer clown anyway.

3.       How much do you get paid?  Most haunts can get paid anywhere between $8.00 -$20.00 hr depending on the talent, experience, and employer of the actor. The average, however, tends to be around $8.25 or $9.00 for regular haunters and $13.00-$14.00 for street talent. We also get to go through the pockets of dead guests for loose change.

4.       How do I get a job here? Ok, stay with me here, this is going to really complicated, you go online, with me so far? You find the attractions website and fill out an application.  If the attraction has no online application then you find the number and arrange a meeting to apply in person.  Whew! I hope you took notes, I know, I know, its crazy right? I mean who would think of such a crazy way to get a job.

5.       Can I take your picture? This is actually a perfectly appropriate question to ask when outside a house.  If you want pictures with street talent many of them are more than willing to take pictures with you, but if you’re actually moving through a house then the answer is always NO!

                                                                                                                                                                  

11.)  Keep your hands to yourself

Finally, in the name of all that is good and holy DO NOT TOUCH ANYTHING!! This goes for actors, props, scenery, anything! Unless you are specifically told that it is ok, keep your grubby little mitts to yourself. This stuff costs a lot of money and when guests break pieces of the set because they have no impulse control it’s a headache for everyone.  I can’t tell you how many people I’ve seen who think it's ok or even funny to destroy or steal pieces of haunt sets, it’s not ok and it’s certainly not funny don’t do it!

But remember the most important thing to do at a Haunt is to have fun!  Haunts are only as fun as you let them be.  You paid to get scared and have a good time so let go of your more cynical nature and just enjoy the experience.  Stop looking for all things that are fake about the attraction , no one doubts that you are smart enough to know this is all fake or that you are brave enough to stand up to people in rubber masks. Go with a group of friends, take a date, get a good conversation going with one of the monsters, whatever it takes to make you stop rolling your eyes and just let yourself be caught up in the illusion.  Even bad haunts can be fun if you go in with the right attitude, so don’t be a grouchy sour puss but instead just go in with the intent to have a good time and you just might enjoy yourself.