Thursday, May 7, 2015

Age of Ultron *review* *sort of*






So everyone and their dog has been going on and on about Avengers: Age of Ultron and with the 1st weekend finished the public as spoken and the general consensus is, “ehh, was s’alright, but  it’s not as good as the first one” and you know what? They’re right.   That’s about all the review you really need to make any kind of assessment about the latest Avengers film.

However that’s for face book posters we here at a Day Late and a Dollar Short aim for much loftier goals of pointless diatribe.  So let’s dissect Avengers 2 and try to figure out exactly why the film failed to surpass its predecessor. We will be going into spoiler territory here, you’ve been warned so don’t blame me if something jumps out and bites you. 

There is a lot that can be commented on about Avengers 2 but for the sake of this article I want to   focus on three specific problem areas in Age of Ultron that I believe were responsible for it inferiority to Avengers. The first and most immediate problem is the Honeymoon stage is over.  We had are summer romance, we were teased, wooed and won over, and it was euphoric, but now the bills have come due, the roof leaks and we have started noticing the flaws in are partner.  We still love them of course, nothing will change that, but they just don’t shine like they used to and we can’t help but wish they would put in a little more effort into their appearance and attitude like they did back in that nostalgic summer of 2012.

   As soon as Avengers hit the theater screen it began an ever slow march towards becoming obsolete. We had all seen it at least eight times in the theater, preordered the super collector’s edition blu-ray then destroyed our players watching it over and over again until finally the film no longer felt fresh and original.   Thus is the inevitable problem with all sequels, lightning rarely strikes twice so unless you have an exceptionally clever and unique script there nothing left to do but rehash your same idea just wrapped in a different package.   This is what happened to AOU Whedon as clever as he can be just couldn't find a way to make the second Avengers as relevant as the first so he didn't even try.  He simply took most of the ideas from his first movie made a few changes then basically retold Avengers and replaced Chitauri with Ultron Robots.  Not to say that other movies don’t copy from themselves but Age of Ultron wore a very noticeable sign that read “hey guys were just going to do the exact same thing again. You don’t mind right?” 

But Marvel/Disney won’t see this as a problem because of the second problem with Avengers: Age of Ultron which is Marvel already has all your money.  Let’s see a show of hands, how many of you were not planning on seeing Age of Ultron when it came out?  Alright, alright you in the back put your hand down, nobody likes a wise guy.  My point is that the majority of the movie going public had their calendars marked for the midnight premier of Age of Ultron, and no matter what reservations we had going in the truth is that none of the marvel crowd were going to simply skip AOU which means that Marvel/Disney no longer has to try as hard to impress the general public.   Everyone who went to see Avengers is basically fish hooked until Infinity war part V: The Box Office Strikes Back, so if the studios can get away with less work for the same amounts of money why not do so.  This is never been more evident then in Age of Ultron which as we discussed uses a lot of pieces from the first movie.  

The truth is Marvel has really only produced a series of mediocre movies with the occasional standouts their biggest strength to date has been their casting and even that has been questionable from time to time.  The casting in age of Ultron however was the movies biggest strength. All our newcomers did a solid job at trying to convey as much as they could with such bit parts.  Aaron Taylor-Johnson as quicksilver and Paul Bettany as Vision both did a fine job, I didn't find myself hurling my popcorn bucket at the cinema screen, which is always a good thing, even Ultron played by James Spader was better than I was expecting, though I still prefer the superior voice talent of Tom Kane for my murderous robot Spader was acceptable and better then some interpretations of the homicidal android.  The stand out though was Elizabeth Olsen as Scarlet Witch the only other film I’ve seen her in was Godzilla and in both films she manages to pull a lot of believability for a character with so little screen time which makes me interested to see what she can do with a bigger role. 

Even though all our newcomers did a decent job there very presence is exactly the third problem that I believe Led to Age of Ultron’s inferiority because Whedon threw in everything but the kitchen sink and his movie still only turned out average.  If you thought the first Avengers was a hodgepodge of clumsy storytelling, poor character motivation and cliche plots then AoU is three times worse.  The plot is all over the place with character motivations ebbing and flowing like the tide all because Whedon couldn’t seem to make up his mind about what plot he actually wanted to follow.  Did he want to tell a story about broken Avengers, Killer robots, Hydra or the magneto twins? Heck the guy even tried to start a plot about the Avenger’s unpopularity in foreign countries only to drop it right where it started.  What the film really needed was to place Ultron in center focus, really explore what made him tick and why he was such a threat to the avengers. Instead we wind up with a film that breaks into what seems like four different movies because Whedon really, really wanted to play with his favorite hero’s even if he had to force them. 

The worst part of this whole back padding spectacle is that the only person who really does anything that doesn’t feel contrived or pointless is Stark and that’s only because he built Ultron.  I would go as far as to say the film could have easily been told without Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver, heck probably even the Vision, and nothing would have really changed.  The newcomers, while fun, contributed almost nothing to story nor did they really develop as characters except for “sorry about trying to kill everyone but were good guys now lolz”.   Avengers Age of Ultron is a bit of a letdown to be sure but there were fun elements to the movie but it’s really only a good movie in the same way that cotton candy is good, it tastes great but it’s actually really terrible stuff for you to be eating plus if you eat too much you get sick .  Avengers is a bad movie but it tastes great and when dealing with marvel movies of late that will simply have to do because like everyone else I will keep coming back for more.




The Spoiler Corner:

.  Hulk and black widow, well.. That was completely random, and kind of dumb not mention Banner just hangs Betty out to dry despite the fact she basically cut all her family  ties and left her previous boyfriend to help him out when he was in trouble, real classy there banner.

. Wait, you’re telling me that a busted up stark bot managed to “get away” from Thor?  The god of thunder ought to have his membership card revoked for that one.  

. It’s not my Ultron.   Ok, ok Spader did a fine job and the look wasn't that bad , side from the weird metal lips,  But I think Ultron is a much better character when he’s cold, calculating and borderline psychotic, completely and irrevocably obsessed with the destruction of all organic life versus being a wise cracking mustache twirler who simply wants to destroy the world because of vague arbitrary reasons. 

.Not to mention Ultron was kind of just a re-skinned Loki.

. Lol at Hawkeye with a family, guess this means no mockingbird.

. So with the introduction of a family and his big hero speech to Wanda this movie was basically wheadon trying to say “guys come on! Stop making fun of Hawkeye all the time! He’s really actually pretty cool! See!”

.wow, were really just going to kill Baron Strucker off screen before he even gets to do anything? That’s lame.

. WAKANDA!  Why is Black Panther so far away?  And why do we not mention him? And how the heck did anyone smuggle anything out of Wakanda and leave with their head still attached to their body?

. OH My Gosh black widow why are you still talking Just Shut… whoa! That conversation got weirdly uncomfortable all of a sudden this is Avengers Age of Ultron right?  The movie where we watch people in bright pajamas punch wisecracking demigods and robots? Let’s just go back to the goofy robot.

. On that same topic, in what reality do you figure that being sterile is the equivalent of being a monster like the Hulk?  Just go freaking adopt lady what is wrong with you?

. I still don’t understand how people act like the finale was supposed be a big slap in the face to Man of Steel, what, because they got people to life rafts?   Ok, I’m the first one to point out the massive amounts of wanton destruction In Man of Steel but there was only one superman, there were like nine avengers in this movie plus some help from SHIELD underground at the last minute, so they had way more bodies to help and they still caused massive amounts of destruction. Not to mention all the property destruction in AOU is pretty much all the Avengers fault in the first place for not keeping a closer eye on what actually happens in Avengers headquarters.  But it’s all mute since none of its real and we all like watching buildings fall down so what’s the big deal anyway?

. Your right I didn't see that coming, know why? Because it’s stupid.  Why were you even in this movie again?


. I would be remiss if I didn't point out the obvious fact that this supposed connected universe pretty much ignored all of the phase two films as far a canon is concerned. Which isn’t that big a deal but they’re the ones who basically said that “look how clever we are tying in all the movies” and now look at them, they barely connect.  Of course don’t get me wrong I think I prefer the films to be more of their own independent things but they let the genie out of the bottle and they can’t put it back so easily.  

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