Underworld: Blood Wars *review*

Underworld blood wars

With Underworld Blood Wars being the fifth installment of the vampire vs. werewolves franchise out in theaters the question being asked is whether or this film can save this perpetually flailing franchise? apparently not.  First, let's all be honest with ourselves, none of the underworld movies are actually “good” movies there all cheap, trite popcorn action flix’s  that have fun visuals but are about as soulless as the blood sucking monsters they portray on screen.   Blood wars is just the natural evolution of this already confusing and poorly plotted film series, but that doesn’t mean it’s not any fun.

Unless you are already a fan of the Underworld series or, a lover of trashy cinema in general, then Underworld Blood Wars is probably not going anything redeeming about it for you.  Much of the acting is subpar, the plot is an embarrassing mess and the editing was done by the Hollywood Chimp Committee, which trades out primate labor for bananas.

by now your asking "So wait, I thought you said this was fun?"  what’s good about this movie?" well, for starters, not all the actors are terrible, our two leads Selene played by Kate Beckinsale and David played by Theo James are actually enjoyable to watch even if Beckinsale seems to be slowing down a bit. Thomas played by Charles Dance is also a fun treat to watch as he brings his game of thrones swagger to underworlds, which is appropriate since this was basically Game of Underworld.  I should point out that David and Thomas's  actors are to be commended if for no other reason then making me like their characters,  wich for underworld is a big feat mainly because Underworlds male characters, outside of those played by Bill Nigh and Michael Sheen respectively, are less than impressive.   

Since the plot is barely worth mentioning let’s talk about the action sequences that are underworlds bread and butter. Ranged from mediocre to entertaining enough, the fight scenes are a little more gimmicky than you would expect, relying on newer tech and superpowers to keep the audience in their

seats. Selene fights a lot but almost everyone one of her fights ends up with her getting a major beat down from every antagonist in the movie. Once Selene gets her new power set it adds a little more flavor to the battles, but the most impressive fight is the final battle between Selene and Marius where the movie showed some real spine. 

I could try and defend the film and say that it’s better than you think, but the truth is that it’s not.  Underworld Blood Wars is a dumb movie there’s no getting around that one, but if you sat through the entire underworld saga then this film is nothing you’re not used to, and there’s no reason you won’t have the same kind of fun you did with the rest of the series. If you’re new to Underworld I would recommend just staying at home and renting the original from Netflix.

MOVIE OBSERVATIONS:
*spoilers*

. Nightshade does what to Vampires? Ok, now you’re just making stuff up.

. Was that a back slap for accepting his role as High Elder? Ha-ha, that has to be the dumbest thing in this whole movie.

. I stand corrected. Marius’s werewolf form is the dumbest thing in the entire movie.

. Lol werewolves with riot shields.  Wait, why are they just now realizing how effective a tactic this is?

. You know, they make such a big deal about the hybrids being so strong, but they get killed pretty easy by purebloods.

. So Selene is a super sayian now?

. Fatality! Selene wins!

. So David just tells everyone to go home and its over?  Werewolves are just like, “ awww, I guess the party's  over. Such a buzzkill”