Cinema Saturday: The Relic

CINEMA SATURDAY PRESENTS: THE RELIC

Year: 1997

Run time: 1hr 50 min

Rating: R

Movie Grade: B+

Principle Cast:

Director: Peter Hyams

Writers: Amy Holden Jones (screenplay)

Penelope Ann Miller… Dr. Margo Green

Tom Sizemore… Lt. Vincent D'Agosta

Linda Hunt… Dr. Ann Cuthbert

James Whitmore… Dr. Albert Frock

Synopsis:  A surprise shipment from Africa unleashes a brain eating monster in the Chicago field museum.

Spoiler free review:  standard creature on the loose plot line but exotic setting and cool creature effects make it stand out above its competitors.

Review: 

It’s no secret that I love monster movies. Claws, drooling teeth, the works the more creepy creatures in a movie the more fun I usually have, but the market is sadly oversaturated with budget titles relaying on cheap effects and even cheaper storytelling to turn a quick dollar.  Company’s like Asylum and syfy have degraded the genera to a point where it’s hardly even fun anymore.  I really want to get excited for a stupid premise like Two Headed Shark Attack but when I actually watch the film it’s boring, with low payout for the hour and a half of tortuous dialogue and dead-end plotting.   That’s when I like to delve into the backlog of horror cinema and pull out the simple tried tired and true monster on the loose formula where it’s cheesy but very satisfying. This is where The Relic comes in, a mutated brain eating monster that terrorize a bunch of high-class socialites in the Chicago Field Museum? Yes please. 

The Relic is standard creature feature fare but the quality of the film and the devotion of the crew set the film well above its competitors. The Director Peter Hyams wanted to create in his words an “upscaled horror movie” and his finished product while perhaps not any kind of A class material certainly makes a strong case for high tier B movie ranking.   There are a lot of well-done creature features but The Relic feels different from all the 90’s monster films, mostly because it played its story completely straight and serious.  Most 90’s monster movie such as Tremors or Lake Placid played the whole monster angle a little tongue and cheek with goofy characters and plenty of jokes to break up the tension but The Relic goes for pure horror channeling Ridley Scott’s alien, whom the director was noted fan of.  The seriousness of the film is rather refreshing take on the whole genera there are a few silly lines and bad jokes but their kept to a bare minimum and the cast never spends time trying to insult a monster that most likely does not have the intelligence to understand you or the self-awareness to care.   Even though the film is more serious some the characters can come off a little hammy at times but never enough to break you out of the illusion of the film.  In fact, most of the actors do a fine job making you believe in them as real people and not just monster food, well except of Nameless security guards 1 and 2.

If there is one major flaw with the film is that its lighting is dark, I’m talking pitch black can’t see your hand in front of your face kind of dark.  The Director was a big fan of hiding the monster, and what you can’t see is far scarier than what you can.  Which works well enough as the museum beastie Kothoga is only in the movie for about 5 minutes and it’s still  an entertaining watch but while on the big screen it was still possible to make out what was happening but when converted to VHS and DVD the film would end up for all intense and purposes featuring  a lot of sequences  that were basically just long shots of black with scary noises or dialogue.   This was fixed for the now out of print blu-ray release but only to the affect that you can now see the film closer to how it was originally intended there are still many nearly pitch-black shots with boosted flashlights being your only source of light in a scene.

But even with darkened rooms and hard to see action when Kothoga finally shows up it is spectacular and another notch in the fantastic works of Stan Winston and his crew. the monsters design utilizes the hybrid nature of the creature to the full effect with its lion body and spider like fangs along with an assortment of other hodgepodged animal’s mixed in. 

If you’re looking for a good Creature Feature for your Halloween marathon or just want to see what a monster movie can look like when it’s not treated like a big joke then check out the “upscaled Horror” film The Relic.

Fast Facts:

. beetle guts were made out of guacamole

. ending of the movie changed because test audience did not cheer when monster was killed

. director considers this an upscaled horror film

.Linda Hunt and James Whitmore were divorced for 18 years at the time of this movie and thus did not have any scenes together.

. flashlights in the film were boosted to give off more light then normal.

. the film actually opened up at #1 when it was predicted to be #4

Quotes:

Margo Green: “You really are a gerbil!”

Margo Green: I'm an Evolutionary Biologist.

Student: What's that?

Margo Green: Someone trying to figure out where our tails went.

Margo Green: Using superstition to bring people to the museum is like hiring topless ushers for the Bolshoi Ballet.

Dr. Albert Frock:

Well if they did, I might go to the Ballet.

Agusta: “ We got a homeless ex con who get his jollies from ripping out people hypothalamuses? What’s he doing? Starting a hypothalamus collection?

Mini commentary:

2:44 this seems like a really bad idea.

3:00 : oh look its primeval cosplay.

3:31 these people are totally trolling this white guy and it is pretty funny ill admit.

9:05 that cat got some major distance, what? did they throw the cat act the actors?

15:20 right let’s just fondle all the unknown artifacts with your bare hands. I thought you guys were scientist.

16:20: the adventures of tweedle dumb and dumber.

17:42 don’t do drugs kids or monsters will eat you.

26:23:  right like it’s the polices fault that you barged up there like a mad woman despite being told not to.

27:54: Clearly, we have different definitions of the word empty since that crate earlier most certainly had leaves in it.

29:00 snarky autopsy lady check

32:50 with a murder investigation going on I don’t think just randomly deciding to explore the museum is a good idea.

32: 40: geeze someone get that poor monster an inhaler.

35:47 not sure if amusing or stupid, I guess it was kinda funny.

39:20 forget the Inhaler thing sounds like it needs a new lung.

58:00  I get that you want darker lighting to create atmosphere but... dang.

1:07:57 Now you know: by the directors’ own admission even he doesn’t have any explanation as to why the sprinklers are going off other than the fact that he thought it looks cool.

1: 21:25: you sir are way too excited about someone being murdered in your museum

1: 21: 3 :  aww yeahh this is the kind of monster carnage I came to see… I mean Oh no! that poor swat guy.

1:33:00: why is that the first-place women in movies put things?  I mean sure the average person is not going to just shove their hand in there but it also seems rather impractical for the character to try and hold an object between her bosom. I dont know why am even talking about this, wasn't there supposed to be a monster in here somewhere?

1:36:37 that is a great monster entrance and such a beautiful beastie.

1:39:55   When date night goes horribly wrong.

1:42:00 Things I learned from the movies; Animals explode when you light them on fire.

ala alien Dr. Margo Green gets and up close and invasive encounter with Kothoga.

Godzilla: King of the Monsters *review*

Godzilla: King of the Monsters

Godzilla: King of the Monsters is a high action, high risk kaiju extravaganza that’s sure to please new and old fans alike, which is why it’s such a surprise that public opinion of the film is so divided.  While I never expected across the board praise, since despite much attention they have received recently, kaiju are still a rather niche genera, I certainly did not expect such backlash of what is otherwise a perfectly acceptable and entertaining entry in Godzilla’s long history.

So, what caused such diametrically opposed opinions?  To answer this lets analyze King of the Monsters in depth to find what elements worked and which ones less then desirable.  First let’s look at the overall tone of the film. As a rabid G-fan I appreciated the daunting task of recreating the Showa era Godzilla movies in a modern-day setting. Its no easy task to create the goofy, nonsensical, adventure feel of the Showa era in our more no nonsense and fear ridden culture.  Everyone these days want things to be more grounded more “relatable” so much that many of us have lost that sense of wonder and imagination that used to be so prevalent on the silver screen.  Theatrics are a dead art and trying to keep everything as “real” as possible is what sells tickets these days so it was really refreshing to see Dougherty combine the two elements in a way that should appeal to anyone who just want to have a good time. 

But a Godzilla film is only as good as its monsters right? So how do Godzilla and co.  stand up?  Amazingly well actually.  Each of the monsters have their own unique look, color scheme and personality adding a lot more flavor to the film as these inhuman creatures brought plenty of human characteristics to their interactions and conflicts while still retaining that animal like quality that the film emphasized so much.  Mothra’s gentler nature has never been better displayed in contrast to Godzillas more violent one, not to mention the character work in showing Rodan’s arrogance as he easily destroys the human forces only to brought low by Ghidorah, however if there is one monster worth spotlighting it is King Ghidorah. Ghidorah is the one monster I have always wanted to see in CGI so that this magnificent and complicatedly designed creature could really shine without all the limiters placed on a suit actor and King of the Monsters does not disappoint.   The tech wizards on this movie really earned their pay check as King Ghidorahs trio of head have never looked more alive always writhing and each displaying their own distinct personality interacting with each other as much as the other monsters around them. The only real downside to the monsters was that I did feel a little cheated by the lack of emphasis on Mothra and Rodan as the promotional material made is seem that both monsters were going to be as prominent as King Ghidorah and possibly lead to a major battle royal among all four monsters, in fact neither Mothra or Rodan actually fight with Godzilla, but even though the two monsters had smaller roles it did nothing to detract from the flow of the story or the excitement of the conflict.

So the Monsters are great and the action is great what is actually the major complaint the dissenters have with the film?  Well that would be the “human plot” which has been described as stupid, nonsensical and silly.  But if you have ever watched a Godzilla film you would now that I just described about 75% of the human stories in Godzilla films.  I fully admit that the Eco terrorist plot line was a bit ham-fisted and logically character motivations fell apart left and right not mention how many characters were so much characters as quip machines. This was all to be expected from the trailers and understandably alienated some film watchers however that said the human plot worked a lot better then I was expecting and the characters far more entertaining then originally theorized.  The humans are still the weakest part of the film but they hardly overpower the rest of the film.

If anything the visual feast that is Godzilla King of the Monsters more then makes up for any shortcomings in the film. The film was shot beautifully with an excellent usage of color and music to make each of the scenes pop with a magical aura to them.  Sequences like Mothra’s emergence from the cocoon were absolutely breathtaking rivaling GMK* for her best transformation sequence.   The film is loaded with imagery like this from King Ghidorah’s advent into DC to the Ancient lost city of Godzilla worshipers. Let’s not forget the phenomenal score by Bear McCreary who’s remixed

overtures for each monster are enough to give any fan goosebumps.

Godzilla King of the Monsters is a fun, wild entry to the annuals of Godzilla history and if you came to see giant monsters your going to get plenty of giant monsters and there really is no reason to come out of the film disappointed unless giant monsters aren’t your cup of tea, but then I don’t really understand why you went to see this film in  the first place.  So go get your popcorn and soda and just enjoy the spectacle that is King of the Monsters because it gives you exactly what you expect.

Final Thoughts:

. Rodan being Ghidorahs little **** is pretty hilarious.

.The Argo is a great nod to the old Sci-fi vehicles of the franchise like the super X or griffin.

. "Mothra Queen of the monsters"  well, there's goes my drink.

. Ok, so Godzilla gets a military escort in this one too but it’s the air force that gets the honors this time.

.  not sure how I feel about this symbiosis thing I always like it better when Godzilla and Mothra are at odds and actively trying to kill each other.. I wonder what the internet has to say about....*closes laptop lid*  that's enough internet for today.

. Loved all the metaphors to royalty, the false king bit had me rolling.

. On that note A+ to director for keeping Ghidorahs extraterrestrial origins.

. When Doughtry said be modeled King Ghidorah after his three dogs I was really curious to see what he had in store and the antics the three heads get into do not disappoint.

. missed opportunity to not play blue oyster cults Godzilla during the final fight.

. this movies basically confirms what I've always said that if we are comparing kaiju to superheros Godzilla is superman's power set with batman's personality. 

.The movie is not perfect but lets all be honest here if we are going to trash King of Monsters for corny plots, lackluster character motivations and cheesy acting then we need to rethink our evaluation of the Marvel movies because Godzilla is the same quality as most of those films .... if not better then a some of them.  Yeah that's right I went there,  gauntlet thrown.

*Godzilla Mothra King Ghidorah: All Monsters Attack