CINEMA SATURDAY PRESENTS: THE RELIC
Year: 1997
Run time: 1hr 50 min
Rating: R
Movie Grade: B+
Principle Cast:
Director: Peter Hyams
Penelope Ann Miller… Dr. Margo Green
Director: Peter Hyams
Writers: Amy Holden Jones (screenplay)
Penelope Ann Miller… Dr. Margo Green
Tom Sizemore… Lt. Vincent D'Agosta
Linda Hunt… Dr. Ann Cuthbert
James Whitmore… Dr. Albert Frock
Synopsis: A surprise
shipment from Africa unleashes a brain eating monster in the Chicago field
museum.
Spoiler free review: standard
creature on the loose plot line but exotic setting and cool creature effects
make it stand out above its competitors.
Review:
It’s no secret that I love monster movies. Claws, drooling
teeth, the works the more creepy creatures in a movie the more fun I usually
have, but the market is sadly oversaturated with budget titles relaying on
cheap effects and even cheaper storytelling to turn a quick dollar. Company’s like Asylum and syfy have degraded
the genera to a point where it’s hardly even fun anymore. I really want to get excited for a stupid
premise like Two Headed Shark Attack but when I actually watch the film
it’s boring, with low payout for the hour and a half of tortuous dialogue and dead-end
plotting. That’s when I like to delve
into the backlog of horror cinema and pull out the simple tried tired and true
monster on the loose formula where it’s cheesy but very satisfying. This is
where The Relic comes in, a mutated brain eating monster that terrorize
a bunch of high-class socialites in the Chicago Field Museum? Yes please. 
The Relic is standard creature feature fare but the
quality of the film and the devotion of the crew set the film well above its
competitors. The Director Peter Hyams wanted to create in his words an
“upscaled horror movie” and his finished product while perhaps not any kind of
A class material certainly makes a strong case for high tier B movie ranking. There
are a lot of well-done creature features but The Relic feels different
from all the 90’s monster films, mostly because it played its story completely
straight and serious. Most 90’s monster
movie such as Tremors or Lake Placid played the whole monster
angle a little tongue and cheek with goofy characters and plenty of jokes to
break up the tension but The Relic goes for pure horror channeling Ridley
Scott’s alien, whom the director was noted fan of. The seriousness of the film is rather refreshing
take on the whole genera there are a few silly lines and bad jokes but their
kept to a bare minimum and the cast never spends time trying to insult a
monster that most likely does not have the intelligence to understand you or
the self-awareness to care. Even though
the film is more serious some the characters can come off a little hammy at
times but never enough to break you out of the illusion of the film. In fact, most of the actors do a fine job making
you believe in them as real people and not just monster food, well except of Nameless
security guards 1 and 2.
If there is one major flaw with the film is that its
lighting is dark, I’m talking pitch black can’t see your hand in front of your
face kind of dark. The Director was a
big fan of hiding the monster, and what you can’t see is far scarier than what
you can. Which works well enough as the
museum beastie Kothoga is only in the movie for about 5 minutes and it’s still an entertaining watch but while on the big
screen it was still possible to make out what was happening but when converted
to VHS and DVD the film would end up for all intense and purposes featuring a lot of sequences that were basically just long shots of black
with scary noises or dialogue. This was fixed for the now out of print blu-ray
release but only to the affect that you can now see the film closer to how it
was originally intended there are still many nearly pitch-black shots with
boosted flashlights being your only source of light in a scene.
Fast Facts:
Quotes:
Margo Green: “You really are a gerbil!”
Review:
It’s no secret that I love monster movies. Claws, drooling
teeth, the works the more creepy creatures in a movie the more fun I usually
have, but the market is sadly oversaturated with budget titles relaying on
cheap effects and even cheaper storytelling to turn a quick dollar. Company’s like Asylum and syfy have degraded
the genera to a point where it’s hardly even fun anymore. I really want to get excited for a stupid
premise like Two Headed Shark Attack but when I actually watch the film
it’s boring, with low payout for the hour and a half of tortuous dialogue and dead-end
plotting. That’s when I like to delve
into the backlog of horror cinema and pull out the simple tried tired and true
monster on the loose formula where it’s cheesy but very satisfying. This is
where The Relic comes in, a mutated brain eating monster that terrorize
a bunch of high-class socialites in the Chicago Field Museum? Yes please. 
The Relic is standard creature feature fare but the
quality of the film and the devotion of the crew set the film well above its
competitors. The Director Peter Hyams wanted to create in his words an
“upscaled horror movie” and his finished product while perhaps not any kind of
A class material certainly makes a strong case for high tier B movie ranking. There
are a lot of well-done creature features but The Relic feels different
from all the 90’s monster films, mostly because it played its story completely
straight and serious. Most 90’s monster
movie such as Tremors or Lake Placid played the whole monster
angle a little tongue and cheek with goofy characters and plenty of jokes to
break up the tension but The Relic goes for pure horror channeling Ridley
Scott’s alien, whom the director was noted fan of. The seriousness of the film is rather refreshing
take on the whole genera there are a few silly lines and bad jokes but their
kept to a bare minimum and the cast never spends time trying to insult a
monster that most likely does not have the intelligence to understand you or
the self-awareness to care. Even though
the film is more serious some the characters can come off a little hammy at
times but never enough to break you out of the illusion of the film. In fact, most of the actors do a fine job making
you believe in them as real people and not just monster food, well except of Nameless
security guards 1 and 2.
If there is one major flaw with the film is that its
lighting is dark, I’m talking pitch black can’t see your hand in front of your
face kind of dark. The Director was a
big fan of hiding the monster, and what you can’t see is far scarier than what
you can. Which works well enough as the
museum beastie Kothoga is only in the movie for about 5 minutes and it’s still an entertaining watch but while on the big
screen it was still possible to make out what was happening but when converted
to VHS and DVD the film would end up for all intense and purposes featuring a lot of sequences that were basically just long shots of black
with scary noises or dialogue. This was fixed for the now out of print blu-ray
release but only to the affect that you can now see the film closer to how it
was originally intended there are still many nearly pitch-black shots with
boosted flashlights being your only source of light in a scene.
But even with darkened rooms and hard to see action when Kothoga
finally shows up it is spectacular and another notch in the fantastic works of Stan
Winston and his crew. the monsters design utilizes the hybrid nature of the
creature to the full effect with its lion body and spider like fangs along with
an assortment of other hodgepodged animal’s mixed in.
If you’re looking for a good Creature Feature for your
Halloween marathon or just want to see what a monster movie can look like when it’s
not treated like a big joke then check out the “upscaled Horror” film The Relic.
Fast Facts:
. beetle guts were made out of guacamole
. ending of the movie changed because test audience did not
cheer when monster was killed
. director considers this an upscaled horror film
.Linda Hunt and James Whitmore were divorced for 18 years at the
time of this movie and thus did not have any scenes together.
. flashlights in the film were boosted to give off more
light then normal.
. the film actually opened up at #1 when it was predicted to
be #4
Quotes:
Margo Green: “You really are a gerbil!”
Margo Green: I'm an Evolutionary Biologist.
Student: What's that?
Margo Green: Someone trying to figure out where our tails
went.
Margo Green: Using superstition to bring people to the museum is like
hiring topless ushers for the Bolshoi Ballet.
Dr. Albert Frock:
Well if they did, I might go to the Ballet.
Agusta: “ We got a homeless ex con who
get his jollies from ripping out people hypothalamuses? What’s he doing?
Starting a hypothalamus collection?
Mini commentary:
2:44 this seems like a really bad idea.
3:00 : oh look its primeval cosplay.
3:31 these people are totally trolling this white guy and it
is pretty funny ill admit.
9:05 that cat got some major distance, what? did they throw
the cat act the actors?
15:20 right let’s just fondle all the unknown artifacts with
your bare hands. I thought you guys were scientist.
16:20: the adventures of tweedle dumb and dumber.
17:42 don’t do drugs kids or monsters will eat you.
26:23: right like
it’s the polices fault that you barged up there like a mad woman despite being
told not to.
27:54: Clearly, we have different definitions of the word
empty since that crate earlier most certainly had leaves in it.
29:00 snarky autopsy lady check
32:50 with a murder investigation going on I don’t think
just randomly deciding to explore the museum is a good idea.
32: 40: geeze someone get that poor monster an inhaler.
35:47 not sure if amusing or stupid, I guess it was kinda funny.
39:20 forget the Inhaler thing sounds like it needs a new
lung.
58:00 I get that
you want darker lighting to create atmosphere but... dang.
1:07:57 Now you know: by the directors’ own admission even he
doesn’t have any explanation as to why the sprinklers are going off other than
the fact that he thought it looks cool.
1: 21:25: you sir are way too excited about someone being murdered
in your museum
1: 21: 3 : aww yeahh
this is the kind of monster carnage I came to see… I mean Oh no! that poor swat
guy.
1:33:00: why is that the first-place women in movies put
things? I mean sure the average person
is not going to just shove their hand in there but it also seems rather
impractical for the character to try and hold an object between her bosom. I dont know why am even talking about this, wasn't there supposed to be a monster in here somewhere?
1:36:37 that is a great monster entrance and such a
beautiful beastie.
1:39:55 When date night goes horribly wrong.
1:42:00 Things I learned from the movies; Animals explode
when you light them on fire.
ala alien Dr. Margo Green gets and up close and invasive encounter with Kothoga.
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