The biggest observations of the 2015 Oscars (because I'm too slow for twitter and the post is too long for Facebook)

The Oscars are a  powerful time of reflection and honor of those brave men and woman who push the boundaries of what we can imagine and challenge us all to be better people.  This is what I would say if Hollywood had paid me, but since I don't see a check for $30,000 in my hand I prefer to have more fun in furiously poking at the Oscars for the liberal, ego stroking, popularity pandering monkey show it is. Ok maybe that was a bit harsh i'll only lightly poke it. So  with out further Audi here are my 2015 Oscar observations since it would be to long to put in a Facebook post.

• Neil Patrick always has the best opening numbers.  Probably has something to do with being a musician and actually being funny, most of the time anyway.

• Glad J.K Simmons won something that guy is great. 

• I don’t believe there real predictions right now, so a locked box? Not really that impressive.

• Neil Patrick Harris nipples look like they could poke someone’s eye out.  I wonder if there registered as deadly weapons.

• Making balls joke after someone talk about their son committing suicide? Really classy there Harris.

• So seat fillers are a thing?  What? Are they afraid that when J.K Simmons goes up to accept his award that Jim Carry is going to steal his seat and not give it back?

• No one should EVER do a live stage presentation of Everything Is Awesome again.That acid trippy Disney on ice from hell production will never get out of my head.

• Jared Leto needs a haircut that or he’s auditioning for the next Jesus movie.

• Wait don’t woman have equal rights? When did I time warp back to the 1900’s

• Because they subbed it in best picture installer has to get best visual even though Dawn of the Planet of the Apes visuals were much more impressive.

• So little applause or X-men? Hollywood is full of mutant haters! I bet they have Sentinels outside that building just waiting to open fire on the first three fingered kid that walks in.

• Disney can win academy awards simply because it’s Disney.  Not surprising King Mickey is a powerful force to be reckoned with and already has cut a bloody swath through the media industry forcing all to convert to his company or be destroyed.

• Every time the camera lands on Eddie Murphy he always looks like he just woke up from a nap and doesn't know what’s going on.

• About 2 hours in I realized I was completely bored with the Oscars which was bad because its right before we go through all the dead people and now I kind of feel like a terrible person.

• Joan Rivers was skipped when they went through the recently deceased, whoops! But then it’s not like she was Robin Williams or anything so her legacy isn’t that important.

• John Travolta needs to learn how to Stop flirting with his co host and just open the dang envelope.  

• Wow, really going to try comparing slavery and civil rights to how people are treated today?  Because Im must have missed the shackled slaves at the cotton plantations and the signs in front of olive garden that say “whites only”.

• Mass Incarceration Hooray!  Everyone applaud …oh wait are we not supposed to clap for that?

• Somebody must have told gaga there was a dress code for the Oscars.

• Eddie Murphy sounds like he's  tried and just  wants to go home.  He’s probably cursing the heavens for agreeing to do both SNL 4oth and the Oscars right about now. 

• That’s two  people who have brought  up suicide at the Oscars. I hope this doesn’t start becoming a popular topic when accepting awards.

• “There are no rules to film making just sins and the biggest is dullness.”  Well the Oscars certainly missed that memo.

• Thank you for sharing about what kind of underwear you have on and how it smells like balls. Gosh I miss the days when you could just use a hook cane and drag people off stage.

• Gahhh! Cate Blanchett looks like some kind of werewolf elf hybrid. It’s like she came straight out of middle earth.

• Random rocky theme of Matthew Mcconaughey, sure why not makes a much sense as anything else that happens at the Oscars.

• Eddie Murphy  perks up as soon as he realizes the Oscars are almost over

• I pretty sure Patrick is the only one that cares about his Oscar predictions at this point.

• Shawn Penn looks a mess like he’s been doing a few lines in the back.  Wonder if he brought enough for everyone.

• I was sure American sniper was going to get best picture but birdman makes sense since it’s all about acting and what not.

• Mexicans make the best movies! That is all.

• But the most important thing I took away from the Oscars this evening, yes even more important then best picture, was Rifftrax’s live tweet of the Oscars introducing me to Whiplash the cowboy monkey.

Jupiter Ascending: The Best Worst Movie of 2015 *review*

Directors & Writers:   Andy Wachowski & Lana Wachowski

Cast:

Mila Kunis:Jupitar

Channing Tatum: Caine Wise

Sean Bean: Stinger Apini

Eddie Redmayne: Balem Abrasax

Jupiter Ascending: 

The Best Worst Movie of 2015

Being of the opinion that the only good film the Wachowski’s have ever made was the matrix I was interested in what kind of spectacle Jupiter Ascending would make of itself and it certainly made quite the spectacle.  Let’s establish this right off the bat, Jupiter Ascending is a terrible movie there is no getting around that one. However in the same breath what Jupiter Ascending did do was create a wildly entertaining, if not horribly flawed, canter through the space adventure genera.   

  Jupiter Ascending starts with a young astronomer falling in love with a young woman; the two eventually marry and produce a child to which the father insists on naming Jupiter. However when tragedy strikes the mother must raise the girl alone thus we enter into Jupiter’s story; a 20 something year old girl, played by Mila Kunis,  whose  life has culminated to nothing more than a chamber maid for a cheap hotel.  However one day an alien wolf man hybrid named Caine Wise, played by Channing Tatum, shows up to explain that Jupiter is in fact the reincarnation of the queen of space, I swear I’m not making this stuff up, and is now the target of several evil space tycoons who do not want her to reclaim her rightful lands and titles.   Jupiter must fight through invisible aliens, dragon-men and the universes wealthiest and most powerful family dynasty in order to save herself and the planet she loves.

I am a big defender of over the top story telling, I love crazy stuff and usually the crazier the better.  But if that craziness is not met with an equal respect of storytelling it all falls apart devolving into pure insanity and stupidity.  This is what happens with Jupiter Ascending, the premise is solid but the delivery is incredibly poor, there are so many plot holes in the script that it make Swiss Cheese look whole. But plot holes are the least concerning strike against Jupiter’s Ascending  the core of the story’s problem  is that quite simply  there is zero emotional connection to the characters of the story, in fact Jupiter Ascending’s  cast  are hardly characters at all but  more like walking tropes.  The closest person to really get a strong sense of personality is Jupiter herself but just barely.   Most of the time the characters are either to busy shooting something or going through space politics including, and I’m not lying, the space equivalent of the DMV.   

What Jupiter Ascending gets right though is its willingness to make bold choices that might not go over well with every audience member and its eye pleasing visuals.   Much the same as with Guardians of the Galaxy Jupiter attempts to bring its audience into a larger universe and the desire to make vivid worlds and some crazy alien characters is to be commended. The visuals of Jupiter Ascending are truly the highlight and saving grace of the film.  Every city, spaceship and alien has its own unique design and purpose with of all them dramatically displayed.  I think the battle over Manhattan is been one of the best spaceship battles in a very long time.   The action was easy to see and follow with very little shaky cameras or blurred corner of the eye explosions.

Jupiter Ascending's heart is in the right place with a genuine desire to create its own space myths but  the Wachowski’s  simply do not have the talent for  compelling narrative and once again fall back on their only strength and that’s visuals.   But if you want a cliche ridden ride of crazy B movie fun then Jupiter Ascending really does deliver it may not be good but its better than most of the terrible films that come out plus it had dragon-men!  And you just can’t go wrong with dragon-men.

Observation Corner *spoilers*

·        The bees can detect royalty?   The Wachowski’s must have been on some trip to come up with an idea that stupid.

·         Did I mention how awesome the dragon-men were? Well they were and I want action figures of these guys pronto.

·         How come only these human guys can mine planets? There are no other aliens that thought to get in on the immortality mining business? Seems a pretty big stretch to me but that bring me to my next point

·         How in the seven galaxies did these douche bags conquer the universe?  They don’t seem all that tough; they just seem to have a lot of space money.  So then I guess there like a space Mafia?  Again why are they the only ones with power?

·         Bwhahahaha, that elephant man, you guys see that right? I’m not hallucinating?  Ok they kind of earn some points for something that looks that ridicules.

·         Wow she’s easy to take advantage of not to mention
Bad guy:  do what I say
Jupiter: Never!
Bad guy: do it or else I’ll say something threatening.
Jupiter:  Ok
Glad the fate of earth doesn't rest on her shoulders ….oh wait.

·         So she’s basically saying screw the other worlds as long as earth is safe, great heroine there.

·         Wow, just wow, I can accept a lot thing but the Wings on Caine? So he’s a sexy wolf hybrid with angel wings, that’s so YA novel that it hurts, I can’t believe that they actually did that.   You lose points for that one movie. 

*review* Blackhat

Blackhat

or how everything you need to see is in the trailer.

         Blackhat starring Chris Hemsworth and relative unknown actor Leehom Wang ,  is the single most incredibly, spectacularly, dull film to come out this year.   Let me clarify, the story of Blackhat follows Chinese operative Chen Dawai, played by Wang, as he is enlisted by the Chinese government to work with the FBI in locating a cyber terrorist that sabotaged one of their nuclear plants.  after one look at the hackers work he realizes  that this cyber terrorist is crazy good and is involved in some pretty serious bad-guy stuff so he enlists the help of his sister Chen Lien(Wei Tang) a computer analyst and his old college buddy Nick Hathaway(Hemsworth) who is currently doing serious time for his own cyber crimes.   Once he convinces the FBI to release Hathaway they crew seeks to hunt down the terrorist and unveil his plans and doing so is going to involve typing, Lots and lots of typing.   

      The problem with the film is that it completely gives you the cyber part of its genera but never delivers the thriller aspect.   I basically spent a 133 minutes watching people work at a desk job  which is boring enough to actually do for a career let alone pay to watch someone else do it.  The technobabble was also a very serious problem in the film as many of the terminology came without definition or the definition was so unemphasized that you forgot what they meant three minutes later, point in fact I’m still not clear on what exactly a “blackhat” is.  

      I wish I could take this moment and at least talk up the interesting and innovative plot but sadly what film lacks in gunfights and car chases it also lacks in compelling narrative. The entire plot is completely uninspired and the threat wholly mundane leading to simply a long series of tropes, pointless characters, and “I’m too dumb to live” moments. The biggest crime the film commits however is that female lead Chen Lien despite being built up as this brilliant computer analyst was so unimportant to the story that the only thing she actually did was to provide a body for Hemsworth to sleep with and (when his costar Leehom Wang was off screen) talk through all the cyber- babble needed for him to figure out what the bad guy is up to. But this is 2015 movie so there was no way a contemporary movie such as this would miss out on an opportunity to shoehorn in a romantic relationship for Thor god of thunder.   

      Overall the movie was vapidly uninspired and did nothing to garner interest or even the slightest bit of curiosity from its audience. Blackhat's lack of character, story, suspense and general creativity making an evening at home watching the paint on your walls crack a more stimulating experience, at least you can watch that for free.

Say hello to Thor's little friend. but not to loud he's shy and only comes out once in the movie.

*Spoilerific* observations

. Wow, these are some of the worst FBI agents I've ever seen, they assigning academy graduates or something to this case?

. Ok, what the heck were those terrorists waiting for?   Why did they wait for Hataway to get out of the car before blowing it?  And even then why on earth wait so long to blow it at all?  It was like 40 miles later plus one heart to heart and then they decided to blow them all to kingdom come?  Good thing the FBI is so bad at their job otherwise these guys would be toast.

. Wait that’s it? That’s your master plan?  You’re going to flood some tiny third world village to drive up the prices of tin?   Muhahahha No one shall be my equal in tin sales!   Ok, yeah, killing people is always bad but come on even in the shots they showed there really wasn’t much of a village to flood it was pretty much all desert so essentially he was planning to flood the desert so he could become a tin tycoon.   Way raise the stakes buddy. 

Comic Book Round Up for 10/22/2014 * Halloween Edition*

Hey All! It’s comic Round Up day! But it’s not just Round Up week it’s also Halloween week!  

So gather around all you ghouls and goblins and lets go take a walk and do the round up deep in the woods.

Hey look at this! It seems to be some sort of trail I wonder where it goes?

Well this doesn’t look foreboding at all.  Lets go see if anyone is home.

Well the jack O lanterns are all set,  

let’s just take a  peek inside shall we?

Well aside from the creepy guy in the Dracula costume the place seems pretty deserted wait! Did something just run up the stairs?

Hold on I hear singing outsideWhat on earth!

 

Wait who are you

THAT’S IT! I’m getting out of here! While I try to find my way back  enjoy this weeks roundup full off heroic Villains, desolate Asylums, bizarre crossovers, giant monsters and and alien or two. Remember if you what to pick up any of these frightastic titles you can find them all on comixology.com or at your local haunted comic shop.  Also the round up will be on a temporary hiatus as I send my computer in to get fixed.  Now on with the round up!

ARRGH  get me out of here!

Avengers and X-men Axis #03

4/5

NF: 2

Magneto’s merry band of villains launches an all out war against the red onslaught.  Watching all the villains fight red skull was hysterical making the issue worth a pick up just for that.  I am a little confused as to what the rest of Axis is supposed to be about I thought it was all about the Red Skull but it seems not since they just beat him.  Oh, and boy can the x-men whine, I mean really?  You think that your little school that gets invaded and trampled every other day of the week is a more secured holding area then Avengers tower?  I know they want Xavier back but they can just as easily get him from the avengers, it’s not like cap was saying that there just going to take Red Skull out back and shoot him regardless of who else may be swimming around in his head. But no, Havoc has to throw a temper tantrum and basically say I don’t want to play with you anymore.

Axis Hobgoblin #01

4/5

NF: 1

Hobgoblin starts over as a good guy and creates a marketing scam to acquire himself an insane amount of wealth.  I love this ridicules idea of the Hobgoblin becoming a different kind of villain.  Yes he’s out there saving lives but it’s all for publicity and he’s still a pretty terrible person.  Being a Super villain infomercial is certainly one of the most creative ideas that marvels has thrown at me lately and I am open to more.

Avengers #37

2/5                 

NF: 0

Steve Rogers continues to hunt down the illuminate to make them answer for their secrets.  Ok so this is 8 months in the future not an alternate reality. It’s still a dumb Idea and an even less interesting story.  It just kind of keeps hiccupping the same material every issue,  never really making any progress as a story.  Should have just focused on the present day incursion issue, that at least was getting exciting.

All New Invaders #11

4/5

NF: 1

Jim Hammond I fighting a nanite virus left behind from his fight with the Deathloks.   Ok, so Invaders is best with Jim Hammond as the primary focus of the story.  His struggle as a synthetic man is very interesting and adds a nice humanity to the story.  Oh and lookie lookie another flashback/mission briefing story telling me why were in the story were in, these things crack me up.

Deadpool #36

3/5

NF: 1

Deadpool goes to Genosha to fight red skull but something strange happens to him.  This is weird I feel like this issue should have come out next week  instead of this week because I feel like it adds things to axis that were not reveled in the latest issue. So are all the heroes and villains flipped in personality? I could use a clearer explanation of what just happened in Genosha.

She Hulk #09

4/5

NF: 2

She-Hulk takes Captain Americas case and must defend him against Daredevil in the courtroom.  These Lawyering adventures of She Hulk are a really fresh take on the whole superhero world. I like the idea of the complications such a fantastic world would have on civil and criminal law.  Besides I give credit to anyone who can make an interesting superhero comic where no body’s punching anything.

Cyclops #06

3/5

NF: 1

The starjammers get caught by a rival pirate and it’s up to Scott to save them.   I feel kind of like a sucker for buying into the red herring opener of corsair punching his son in the face, but in my defense comics have made me so cynical that I really did believe that marvel would completely undo all the character building they just finished in order to create “more drama”. But they didn’t and corsair and Scott are just faking out the bad guys to which I’m not sure is more or less groan worthy then what I thought was happening.

Death of wolverine Logan Legacy #02

3/5   

NF:1

X-23 leaves to go and process her emotions and figure out who she is without wolverine.  Wasn't good wasn't bad it just was.  It’s just more fallout of wolverines death and doesn't really need to be a whole separate comic.  In fact, let’s just give x-23 her own comic again that would make me far more interested than some side comic of everyone boo hooing over wolverines “Death” .  Oh and if you’re going to use real diseases you should really try to make sure you have all your facts straight.

Amazing x-men #12

4/5

NF: 3

The x-men have one final showdown with Tanaraq to free humanity of the Wendigo curse. This was a solid conclusion to a solid arc.  Beginning middle and end, superheroes superheroing and some drama in the mix, while its nothing extra special it has that fun simple hero arc that we lack so often.

Amazing Spiderman #08

4/5

NF: 2

Spiderman and Miss Marvel continue their fight against a renegade Kree scientist meanwhile another totem eater appears to attack mayday parker and her family.  Wow, the short spider verse story was way more interesting then the main one.  Not that the main story was bad but it wasn’t terribly exciting either while on the other hand watching this new totem eater attack a well known character from the marvel multiverse was engagingly epic and makes me want to read Spiderverse now.

Arkham Manor #01

3/5

NF: 3

Wayne manor is turned into a temporary Arkham asylum but people are being murdered so batman must go undercover.  So, wait. Is this canon? I mean what the heck happened to Arkham asylum that they need a new place to hold the prisoners?  I know there was a panel showing it blow up but why did it blow up? What story was that? And why doesn’t Bruce live in his house? And who the heck thinks that a mansion would make a good temporary Asylum? I don’t have the answers to these questions but regardless of all that it was really the artwork and atmosphere that saved this issue from being a waste of time. The gray and black colors really create a creepy atmosphere for Gotham’s most notorious sanitarium.

Aquaman #35

3/4

NF: 2

Aquaman brings some old acquaintances to Atlantis to try and discover the true history of his people.   Oh wow! It’s that scientist guy I remember him, yep, it’s what’s his name *quietly whispers to the person next to him* “who is that again?”    Seriously though, I barely remember this wiry little man from when he kinda sorta tried to kill Aquaman kind of sort of against his will. Not much of consequence really happened in this issue other then consistently stating the obvious problems that have been plaguing Aquaman since issue one.

Superman #35

5/5

NF: 3

Superman and Ulysses confront the machinist but Ulysses finds more about earth then he expected and now wants to change things. I knew it we are so going to make them fight! This is so wonderfully obvious but in a good way. I like where this setup is going and I really like the idea of introducing some new villains for Supes to fight. So far Geoff Johns is doing a bang up job on the new superman book.

Red Lanterns #35

3/5

NF: 2

Guy Gardner finds himself in a death match with the new Gods with Simon Baz as the only backup.  Ok I just throw my hands up in the air when it comes to the new gods.  I just don’t believe in their motivation nor do I believe in their power levels.  I mean there all cut from the same cloth as Darkseid and his minions yet the lanterns seem to be having so much trouble with them.  shakavat? Why couldn’t he have been one of the things that got erased when new 52 happened I don’t understand why D.C wants to hang on so desperately to all its bad ideas, speaking of bad ideas  Why is Baz even still here he never does anything and  his personality is about as exciting as card bored. 

The Flash #35

2/5

NF: 0

The flash from the future comes to kill the flash from the past in order to save all of time.  Not going to even try and put all this together.   I mean what a headache this is causing as far as time travel I can’t eve go into this but let’s just say that this book was not only confusing but kind of stupid as well.  If new 52 hadn’t started writing Barry as this ridicules ding dong and let him be the forensic scientist he is we wouldn’t have this kind of nonsense.  By the way if that is what Wally’s costume is going to look like when he finally takes the flash mantle then 

Deathstroke #01

4/5

NF: 1

Deathstroke is hired to kill a man named Possum in Russia but is ambushed. This was actually kind of awesome.  Just Deathstroke being Deathstroke  murder, violence and plain old fashion butt kicking.  Though I am trying to figure out if new52 eliminated Slades limited precognition.   We have his healing ability but nothing has mentioned his limited ability to see the future, witch I always thought was a pretty awesome ability.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles –Ghostbusters #01

4/5

NF: 1

The Turtles build a time machine but it instead transports them to an alternate universe where they run into the Ghostbusters.   This was hysterical if you love or are reading either series then this will be an enjoyable read as the comic focus on both groups equally.  The whole first issue is mostly setup so we haven’t gotten to any of the real crossovering yet but it was so well put together that you would almost believe that his was the debut comic for both teams.   The dialogue is well crafted and fits each character true to form in fact Peters comment in the last panel had me in stitches.

Transformers Primacy #03

4/5

NF: 0

The Autobots and Decepticons begin their final battle for Cybertron.   If you want to read Primacy just pick it up, don’t worry about history or timelines or even who’s who and how they behave, just read the comic and enjoy the show because you will spend countless hours trying to figure out all those questions above when you could just be enjoying the book for what it is.  It’s transformers and it does what transformers does best and that’s depicting epic robot wars.  The biggest complaint I have is some of the battles have shots that are far to close up and the artwork, while good, can make it a bit difficult to identify what is actually happening.

Justice Inc #03

4/5

NF: 3

The Avenger is born and teams up with Doc Savage and the Shadow to find his missing family.    Ok, the comic is corny no doubt about that, and half the time you would think your reading batman and superman when looking at the Shadow and Savage, but it is kind of fun if you like that old pulp hero kind of style.   If you’re looking for serious cynical drama you won’t find it here this comic wears everything on its sleeves and makes no apologies for it.

Godzilla rulers of the earth #17

4/5

NF: 3

Space Godzilla arrives and decimates the remaining Devonians as her continues his trek toward earth.  Again this is really a comic for Godzilla fans only. The space battle between Gigan and Spacegodzilla was tons of fun and exciting to see SG make is way to earth.  The rest of the story is what it usually is just barely holding a story thread together.

Godzilla cataclysm #03

4/5

NF: 2

The boys smuggle a piece of Biollante back into the village which brings the monsters to their hometown.  This is such a fun read Post Apocalyptic Godzilla is a great idea one that I always thought could make for an interesting story if given half a chance.   I like this radical take on all the monsters and how there approached as both forces of nature and being of personality.

Predator- Fire and Stone #01

3/5

NF: 2

A predator stows away on a smuggler ship and picks off the crew one by one.  The entire comic right until the end was standard monster of the week fair with the predator just killing off human character that no one cared about, not much of a story there but then we pull in the fact that it’s hunting an engineer and is willing to “team up” with a human to get to them.  The art was actually pretty good really highlighting the predator more than anything.

Whew! Back home safe and sound, where I’m never leaving again, and can just throw candy at the relentless little monsters that keep crowding around my house.

What you want some too? Well here you go! Here’s a pic of the week

Being Halloween and all I figured Nightmare Godzilla from cataclysm would be a most appropriate choice.

HAPPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYBODY

*Newcomer friendliness 1=best 3=worst 0=forgetaboutit

* I do not own any pictures placed on this sight all due credit goes to respective creators.

Comic Book Roundup for 10/15/2014 *When Animals attack edition*

Hey all its Comic Roundup Day! here’s your rocket launcher and NT Anti-animal Mech suit.  What are these for? Where have you been man? It’s the Animals they've risen up and declared total war on each other.   

I am not overreacting! have you seen it out there? It’s absolute Chaos

And there organized

And Weaponized

And those interrogation rooms *shudder*

Not to mention they've started attacking humans,

 ok well more like being irritants but that girl is going to need some major therapy let me tell you.

This must be must divine retaliation for Marvel starting yet another major crossover event right after Original Sin.  Alright lets get into some comics and maybe we can get things under control before were through.  So Lets get to a world where Skull headed Nazis can gain ultimate power, Fairy Tales can become superhero’s and Wolverine finally kicks the bucket, maybe.  It’s Roundup time!

Ouch  that looks like it hurt.

Batman and Robin #35

4/5

*NF: 3

Batman launches a one man war against Apokolips in order to retrieve Damian’s body.  It’s a visually fantastic book, The Hellbat suit looks awesome and the fires of Apokolips cast and eerie glow.  The plot however while not terrible is  just not as impressive as the images in the book, not to mention some of the one liners are a little cheesy and stale, but for the most part it’s an exciting read .

Justice League #35

3/5

NF: 2

Luthor gives Bruce a tour of his facilities so that he can inspect the cooperation and make sure nothing illegal is happening.  This is a better issue then most of the JL stories New 52 has been pushing but it’s still too early to tell how much better.  At the very least even though AMAZO is going to be some nanite virus, which is annoying, they have a more believable reason for Bruce and Luthor joining forces other than just because.

Supergirl #35

3/5

NF: 2

Supergirl and Red Hood team up to take out some alien arms dealers.  That was…random.  It was an enjoyable read but it really just kind of came out the blue.  It’s at least a single enclosed story and I like that. After so many “events” in comics it is nice to occasionally see a simple one shot story.   I am however irritated by the company’s attempt to make me go and buy red hood and the outlaws so I can figure out what up with Jason Todd. Oh and FYI this has next to nothing to do with doomed aftermath or otherwise.

Teen Titans #03

3/5

NF: 2

The Teen Titans are attacked by the same robot terrorist they defeated earlier.   The Book is ok.  It’s not breaking any ground yet but I like the street level view of the titans. I still don’t like that Cyborg is not on the team and I don’t really care about Bunker since he’s just the gay Cyborg and lacks any interesting elements to his personality aside from that, but at least they went a whole issue without him proclaiming to the rooftops that he’s gay which I greatly appreciate.

Green Lantern new guardians #35

3/5

NF: 2

Kyle learns more about the white lantern ring and is angry about secrets being kept from him.  Ok, so Highfather is only kind of a bad guy?  I mean he talks about the greater good but he slaughtered several Green Lanterns when he knew their weapons couldn’t even harm him, kinda makes him a badguy in my book.  As for the whole white lantern stuff I really, really hope we can wrap up this whole emontial reservoir garbage soon, if I’m honest and refuse to give into tact then it’s  a truly stupid idea and whoever came up with it needs to move on to some  Z list book where they can’t do any more harm.  I also am sick and tired of DC thinking its clever because its shipping characters together that were with other characters pre-new 52.

Avengers & X-Men Axis #02

4/5

NF: 2

Iron man and the other heroes continue their fight against the red Onslaught.  I still get confused as to how canon onslaught is always supposed to be but I guess since were taking over everyones comic for this one I suppose its canon.   As much as I’m sick of all these companywide crossovers it is kind fun to see one that’s simply one giant fight, since that’s what all these things boil down to anyway.  Some fun moments in the issue and I think it’s worth a pick up if you just want heroes punching things. I had to laugh at the last panel.

Original sin annual #01

1/5

NF: 1

Reader is given a brief glimpse at the history of the previous Man on the Wall.  Dull and pointless, Orignal Sin is over and if this story was so desperately important to your plot, which it isn’t, then you should have included it in the Original Sin story line.   The story is also dull and incredibly uninteresting in case anyone was losing sleep over it. 

New Avengers #25

3/5

NF: 2

In an alternate reality the illuminate are hunted by shield.   I would just like to make the Marvel writers understand that I have no interest, zero, nada, less than one, in alternate reality tales inside main books. Save that stuff for WHAT IF?    I mean what’s the point of following a story that doesn’t matter?  We were getting real interesting with the whole incursion/Namor plot only to just drop it and start this tiresome story, hopefully this won’t last long.

Hulk #07

4/5         

NF: 1

The Hulk continues to depower his fellow hulks and next on his list is Skarr.  Please, please depower the red hulks.  I mean if we’re going to depower Skarr and A-bomb then we defiantly need to depower the red hulks because there are by far the most annoying new hulks.  That aside I like this story, this arrogant new hulk that’s different from all the other versions of himself who is so arrogant to think he gets to decide who keeps there powers and who doesn't.

Fantastic Four

5/5

NF: 3

The conspiracy tightens around the fantastic four as their friends try to find out who is behind all of this.  Great issue has a much stronger conspiracy feel then most superhero conspiracy stories.  Someone with a lot of influence money and power are going to great lengths to destroy the Fantastic Four from within I just hope if doesn’t turn out to be a disappointment when we find out who’s behind all of this.

Loki Agent of Asgard #07

4/5

NF: 3

World War Hate spills into latveria and doom try’s to subdue his people while Verity try’s to free Loki.   So we should probably just drop the “Agent of Asgard” title and just keep it Loki since he’s really not doing any agenting anymore.  But that aside reading a book full of villains/reformed villains is kind of fun with Magneto being in top form and doom just shrugging off the telepathic rays of Red Onslaught.   It’s occurred to me that Loki has been a good guy for some time now and I find I like Loki being an ally as much as I like him being the villain and with old Loki still around I continue to hope I get to keep the best of both worlds.

The Death of Wolverine # 04 *Big Spoilers*

5/5

NF: 3

Wolverine bursts into the lab of the man that’s been hunting him only to find terrible secrets.   Lol He’s so not really dead.  I mean come on, the bad guy conveniently has a regenerative serum and there clearly was more than one so there if there’s more than one it’s easy to believe that Logan used the serum on the test subject then one on himself and he’s still alive and well just trapped under all that adamantium.   Still it was a great send off and a great issue that sums up wolverines life very well.  So here’s to you Logan! See you in a year’s time, because we all know that’s the max amount time he’ll be away.

Wolverine and the X-Men #10

3/5

NF: 2

 The  X-Men retell there favorite story’s about wolverine.  Some of the stories are better than others some of the art is better than others.  It’s  a mishmash of good and bad but still it’s a relatively decent memorial issue  but I can’t help but sit here and look at my watch trying to predict exactly when the wolverine is going to pop back up  making this whole ceremony mute.  I mean Night crawler didn’t even stay dead for very long, wolverines going to be on the fast track back.

Uncanny x-men #27

3/5

NF: 3

The x-men try to approach the new mutant but things don’t go as well as planned.  Kind of a meh issue, nothing really happens except we confirm again that the mutant they are going after is dangerously powerful. If you miss this comic the only thing you really need to know is that Cyclopes just wants to talk.

Edge of the spider verse #05

3/5

NF: 1

Peni Parker is part of team Spi//der  and protects her city with her mechanical suit. This is Just another entry into the spider verse buildup.  Nothing really special happens in the issue, other then it being another actual recruitment and not just Morlun eating everybody.  Seriously, you can’t say your teaming up with every Spiderman ever if the bad guy just killed like 4 of them before the event starts.

Spiderman 2099

3/5

NF: 2

Miguel O hare keeps experiencing intense migraines little does he know that it’s the totem eating vampire Morlun killing his alternate selves.  This was a better read then the last issue but it didn’t break any storytelling records.  I did like them setting up that Morlun is afraid to come back to main marvel earth due to his earlier defeat.  This whole Spider Verse thing just needs to start instead of just dragging its feet.

Miles Morales Ultimate Spiderman #06

5/5

NF: 3

Miles and MJ question this new peter parker and try to figure out if he’s the real deal or not. Sooo I’m assuming that peter is immortal like Osborn? Still not sure if I’m supposed to assume if he’s the real peter or not, but it still was one excellent issue. Miles has certainly proved himself as Spiderman and I’m ok with keeping him as the definitive Ultimate Spiderman.  Oh, and I guess that’s goodbye To Ultimate Jameson. Lets all wave

Miss marvel #09

5/5

NF: 3

After fighting a robot Kamala learns more about here powers and what their limitations are.   This is a very engaging read and Kamala is still very endearing of a character though I wish they had given us a more solid explanation of what her powers can and cannot do.  I feel like they tell us one thing and then change their minds about it and try to cover it up with some random excuse that may or may not be accurate because there unsure as well.

Fables *Spoilers*

5/5
NF:0

Ozma and beast gear up to try and stop a feral bigby.  DANG! Were pulling out all the stops here  the secrets out, fables are dying, bigby the god of monsters is being controlled by malevolent forces this are getting crazy as we inch closer and closer to the end of this fantastic  epic series.

It seems with a little ingenuity and help from a local vacuum cleaner

We have managed to subdue the animal rebellion and things are somewhat back to normal.

And it all just in time for the pic of the week!

Epic spread of the Red Onslaught taking on half of Marvels Heroes.

*Newcomer friendliness. 1 best 3 worst 0: go back to the beginning.