Saturday, October 26, 2019

Cinema Saturday: The Relic




CINEMA SATURDAY PRESENTS: THE RELIC






Year: 1997
Run time: 1hr 50 min
Rating: R
Movie Grade: B+

Principle Cast:

Director: Peter Hyams
Writers: Amy Holden Jones (screenplay)

Penelope Ann Miller… Dr. Margo Green
Tom Sizemore… Lt. Vincent D'Agosta
Linda Hunt… Dr. Ann Cuthbert
James Whitmore… Dr. Albert Frock



Synopsis:  A surprise shipment from Africa unleashes a brain eating monster in the Chicago field museum.

Spoiler free review:  standard creature on the loose plot line but exotic setting and cool creature effects make it stand out above its competitors.





Review
It’s no secret that I love monster movies. Claws, drooling teeth, the works the more creepy creatures in a movie the more fun I usually have, but the market is sadly oversaturated with budget titles relaying on cheap effects and even cheaper storytelling to turn a quick dollar.  Company’s like Asylum and syfy have degraded the genera to a point where it’s hardly even fun anymore.  I really want to get excited for a stupid premise like Two Headed Shark Attack but when I actually watch the film it’s boring, with low payout for the hour and a half of tortuous dialogue and dead-end plotting.   That’s when I like to delve into the backlog of horror cinema and pull out the simple tried tired and true monster on the loose formula where it’s cheesy but very satisfying. This is where The Relic comes in, a mutated brain eating monster that terrorize a bunch of high-class socialites in the Chicago Field Museum? Yes please. 
The Relic is standard creature feature fare but the quality of the film and the devotion of the crew set the film well above its competitors. The Director Peter Hyams wanted to create in his words an “upscaled horror movie” and his finished product while perhaps not any kind of A class material certainly makes a strong case for high tier B movie ranking.   There are a lot of well-done creature features but The Relic feels different from all the 90’s monster films, mostly because it played its story completely straight and serious.  Most 90’s monster movie such as Tremors or Lake Placid played the whole monster angle a little tongue and cheek with goofy characters and plenty of jokes to break up the tension but The Relic goes for pure horror channeling Ridley Scott’s alien, whom the director was noted fan of.  The seriousness of the film is rather refreshing take on the whole genera there are a few silly lines and bad jokes but their kept to a bare minimum and the cast never spends time trying to insult a monster that most likely does not have the intelligence to understand you or the self-awareness to care.   Even though the film is more serious some the characters can come off a little hammy at times but never enough to break you out of the illusion of the film.  In fact, most of the actors do a fine job making you believe in them as real people and not just monster food, well except of Nameless security guards 1 and 2.
If there is one major flaw with the film is that its lighting is dark, I’m talking pitch black can’t see your hand in front of your face kind of dark.  The Director was a big fan of hiding the monster, and what you can’t see is far scarier than what you can.  Which works well enough as the museum beastie Kothoga is only in the movie for about 5 minutes and it’s still  an entertaining watch but while on the big screen it was still possible to make out what was happening but when converted to VHS and DVD the film would end up for all intense and purposes featuring  a lot of sequences  that were basically just long shots of black with scary noises or dialogue.   This was fixed for the now out of print blu-ray release but only to the affect that you can now see the film closer to how it was originally intended there are still many nearly pitch-black shots with boosted flashlights being your only source of light in a scene.
But even with darkened rooms and hard to see action when Kothoga finally shows up it is spectacular and another notch in the fantastic works of Stan Winston and his crew. the monsters design utilizes the hybrid nature of the creature to the full effect with its lion body and spider like fangs along with an assortment of other hodgepodged animal’s mixed in. 

If you’re looking for a good Creature Feature for your Halloween marathon or just want to see what a monster movie can look like when it’s not treated like a big joke then check out the “upscaled Horror” film The Relic.


Fast Facts:
. beetle guts were made out of guacamole
. ending of the movie changed because test audience did not cheer when monster was killed
. director considers this an upscaled horror film
.Linda Hunt and James Whitmore were divorced for 18 years at the time of this movie and thus did not have any scenes together.
. flashlights in the film were boosted to give off more light then normal.
. the film actually opened up at #1 when it was predicted to be #4


Quotes:

Margo Green: “You really are a gerbil!”

Margo Green: I'm an Evolutionary Biologist.
Student: What's that?
Margo Green: Someone trying to figure out where our tails went.

Margo Green: Using superstition to bring people to the museum is like hiring topless ushers for the Bolshoi Ballet.
Dr. Albert Frock:
Well if they did, I might go to the Ballet.

Agusta: “ We got a homeless ex con who get his jollies from ripping out people hypothalamuses? What’s he doing? Starting a hypothalamus collection?





Mini commentary:

2:44 this seems like a really bad idea.
3:00 : oh look its primeval cosplay.
3:31 these people are totally trolling this white guy and it is pretty funny ill admit.
9:05 that cat got some major distance, what? did they throw the cat act the actors?
15:20 right let’s just fondle all the unknown artifacts with your bare hands. I thought you guys were scientist.
16:20: the adventures of tweedle dumb and dumber.
17:42 don’t do drugs kids or monsters will eat you.

26:23:  right like it’s the polices fault that you barged up there like a mad woman despite being told not to.
27:54: Clearly, we have different definitions of the word empty since that crate earlier most certainly had leaves in it.
29:00 snarky autopsy lady check
32:50 with a murder investigation going on I don’t think just randomly deciding to explore the museum is a good idea.
32: 40: geeze someone get that poor monster an inhaler.
35:47 not sure if amusing or stupid, I guess it was kinda funny.
39:20 forget the Inhaler thing sounds like it needs a new lung.
58:00  I get that you want darker lighting to create atmosphere but... dang.
1:07:57 Now you know: by the directors’ own admission even he doesn’t have any explanation as to why the sprinklers are going off other than the fact that he thought it looks cool.
1: 21:25: you sir are way too excited about someone being murdered in your museum
1: 21: 3 :  aww yeahh this is the kind of monster carnage I came to see… I mean Oh no! that poor swat guy.
1:33:00: why is that the first-place women in movies put things?  I mean sure the average person is not going to just shove their hand in there but it also seems rather impractical for the character to try and hold an object between her bosom. I dont know why am even talking about this, wasn't there supposed to be a monster in here somewhere?
1:36:37 that is a great monster entrance and such a beautiful beastie.
1:39:55   When date night goes horribly wrong.

1:42:00 Things I learned from the movies; Animals explode when you light them on fire.


















ala alien Dr. Margo Green gets and up close and invasive encounter with Kothoga.









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